Ah, yes. Winter.

December 8th: winter has finally arrived. There are two things that annoy me greatly about this arrival.

1) Hoods. F all people who wear hoods draped over their faces. Obstructed fields of vision do not coincide with crowded Midtown sidewalks. Yes, it may be too cold for your delicate little face, but you still have to walk in a straight line, you fragile degenerate. Continuing the subject of questionable walking skills, do not force me to walk over the air grates. I am wearing heels, you corporate piece of shit, and do not appreciate having your pretentious briefcase-on-wheels force me to tip-toe over the grate to avoid potential broken heels, sprained ankles, social suicide, and most importantly my general discomfort.

2) Weather chat. As it is, any slight change in the weather encourages futile small talk among strangers and co-workers. But the ferocity of weather chat is unmatched when it comes to the first winter chill. The simple phrase: “Cold enough for ya?” is enough make me sterile. My disdain for small talk runs at an exceptionally high level. I don’t care, you don’t care. Chances are that I’m the one being shorted when it comes to intellectual stimulation, anyway. So please, save your energy for your chat with the MTA guy and leave me alone.