Another day older... another day wiser...

It's funny the things you learn in your OLD AGE that, while it seems to be common knowledge to the rest of the worldly population, is sparkling, shiny, new information to you. For example, I have recently learned that when a store announces that they are "Proudly Serving Boar's Head!" that they are, in fact serving a BRAND of meat, not an actual Boar's thinking machine. So, for your reading pleasure, I am sharing my otherwise very intellectual roommate latest lightbulb moment. Brought to you in the form of rapid fire email :

From: M
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: J
Subject: RE:

I don’t know how to load staples in the stapler….who the f doesn’t actually know how!!!!!!!!!!!????????? I’ve used both of Claire’s staplers and 2 of mine and now I don’t know what to do cause I don’t know how to reload!!! Ahhhhh

From: J
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: M
Subject: RE:

Okay, do you want help? I can talk you through this.


From: M
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: J
Subject: RE:

Yes please!!!!

From: J
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: M
Subject: RE:

You have to pull HARD! What part is tripping you up? This is too funny

From: M
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: J
Subject: RE:

I DON’T KNOW, I’VE BEEN MESSING WITH IT FOR LIKE 2 HOURS!

From: J
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: M
Subject: RE:

Okay, step by step (I’m LOLing):

1.Pull the top part of the stapler from the the bottom part that actually touchedthe desk. This can be done either one of two ways: a) manually pull very hard (grab the top, silver part that staples and pull in an “opening” motion from the bottom part) until the top swings up (opens like a lid). If this doesn’t work then there will be a little metal clip/button on the bottom of the stapler (the part that touches the desk), push that and it will release and the stapler will open.

2. Focusing only on the “top” part, pull the silver part away from the top part, this should work manually. Not buttons to release, just pull. Don’t worry about injuring yourself as the stapler has no staples.

3. Feed a row of staples inside the now opened silver part. Points on the staples face DOWN. The flat part faces UP. There will be a spring that pulls back and reveals an empty area. Load the row of staples. As you close the top the spring will push on the staples, pushing them to the front.

4. Close everything and restore to original state.

5. Staple.


From: M
Sent: Tuesday, February 06, 2007
To: J
Subject: RE:

OMG I’m officially retarded!! Bringing home the stapler for you to show me…

One, two... buckle your shoes...