
The other night myself and a few of my closest friends got together to cook dinner and have a game night (we're one trip to Michael's away from menopause and shopping at Chico's, apparently). Our usual favorite of Taboo was getting a bit tired so we headed out to Fred Meyer's to pick up some fresh gamin meat (it's possible that this story has already peaked, so feel free to stop reading at any time).
Roundin the gamin aisle, I was really pulling for Settlers of Catan. Sidenote: Catan is an amazing game and not meant for those who are easily repelled by nerdy behavior and language, otherwise, I wholeheartedly recommend it. However, Settlers of Catan is far too classy a game to be sold at Fred Meyer's, kinda like how Cranium used to only be sold exclusively at Starbucks, but not in an uppity way. So, after centuries of debating and arguing over games, we decided on IMAGINIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it was not clear by the excessive use of exclamation points, Imaginiff did not disappoint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was so wonderful that I had a dream about it that night, sexy.
You basically choose 8 people (including yourselves) and answer multiple choice questions about how they would react in particular scenarios, things they would choose, things they would be, etc. The rules state that you can also pick celebrities, but that's crap. Just stick to yourselves and people you know so you can make fun of them and laugh at them. Choosing peoples parents work nice, also. It is a board style game and you have pieces to try to move to the end, with challenges and whatnot, but all of that almost gets lost in the midst of accessing whether or not someone would confess to running over a cat, replace the cat, bury the cat do nothing, or blame the cat's owner for letting it outside (BTW, Liz George would blame the cat's owner).
Okay, so there's my endorsement for Imaginiff, tada.
Moving on to another thing I feel very passionately about. I really, really love the show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team on CMT. This may be the first show ever I have watched on CMT. Now, I like country music. Reba McIntyre may even be at my fantasy dinner, but I think CMT is pretty lame. This show, however, is pure joy. If I haven't already alienated every feminist and female liberationalist (?), I'm sure I will shortly.
This show chronicles the audition process of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and gives you (the viewer!!!) an inside look as to why or why not someone may make the team. Are their kicks a bit sub par? Not flexible enough? Hair color too blah? Would they look "inappropriate" in the uniform (such tact!)? The ringleader of the whole shebang is Kelli Finglass, the DCC director. Kelli ("Ma'am") is an immaculately composed and shellacked mother/big sister figure who has perfected a veil of compassion and empathy for these girls who are, mostly likely, "going home with a broken heart and crushed dreams". They even tug at your heartstrings a bit with Christina, a profoundly deaf girl who does a lyrical dance to Coldplay "Clocks", causing the dance instructor to cry and embrace her.
Not hooked yet? In the most recent episode the girls, who are now past auditions and into training camp (complete with a Jerry Springer-esque boot camp instructor!!! OMG), get their body fat percentage measured. One girl was found to be a whopping 16% body fat. This was 3% over the team average and, therefore, she was put on a meal plan and told to tighten up. Now, to the naked eye, she was incredible thin and had a killer bod (lez!), but as she was walking away, the camera happened to catch the slightest hint of back fat. Is this a bit harsh? Does it set women back 50 years? Yes, and yes. However, these women knew that 2 out of the 3 categories they would be judged on were based on appearance (face and body, duh). Kelli Finglass and the uniform can not be compromised by misplaced and unsightly faaat! So, as a judging viewer and a devoted fan of pom-poms (again, lez!), I say lose the excess adipose or find a new dream, girlfriend.

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